Tuesday, April 16, 2013

...on boston

i have been sitting infront of my computer with this "write a new blog post" window up for a while. i can't stop thinking that we are living in the weirdest of times.

back in 2011, i attended the nyc marathon to watch friends run by as they see their dreams of defeating the 26 mile run come true. i hung out around mile 18 - 20, right before the runners go into central park, knowing they are so close. although many people look tired and worn out, you can tell they are excited to reach the end, throw on their comfy shoes and walk out of the park with their medals around their necks. what also amazes me are the people who encourage the runners. some people spend all day outside, in any kind of weather (in 2011, it was cold), and yell. people come and go as they wait to see their loved ones run by or others spend the whole day yelling and encouraging people they don't know. but everyone takes the time to yell and clap. if they see the name of the person on their bib then they call them out by name. sometimes they just hand out random high-5's. sometimes they just clap and smile. sometimes they even hold up funny posters (one guy had a sign that said, "a beer is near!"). these people who stand and watch, who encourage strangers and friends, amaze me.

what should have been a great moment of joy for people in boston was violated yesterday. and i just can't understand it all. grumpy cat said it best, 

but then i think,
because i really don't want to hate this world. i want to remember everything that i love that's in it, all of the people, the places, the things that we experience. as all of these things happen around us, i just don't want to forget that there really is good in the world and there are things to love about it, even in dark times. 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

...on death

last friday, which also happened to be good friday, a friend of mine passed away. as someone who has lost her own father and both grandfathers, death is shocking but losing a friend is shocking. not that his death was a total surprise - he had been sick for 2 years and we all knew what the outcome would be. but to lose someone who was only one year older than you, someone who was so full of life and had so much more life to live is shocking.

the eulogy, which was delivered by his best friend (and friend of mine), was truly honest, personal and emotional. i'm pretty sure there wasn't a single dry eye in the house. but, i was personally struck by the final part of his speech when he talked about what he regretted most. what i thought my friend would say was that he regretted not telling our friend how much he loved him. i was wrong. what followed was an amazing reminder. my friend went on to say that what he regretted was not saying thank you.

since my father's passing, i vowed that i would make sure that the people i love know that i love them. although that seemed like enough, i don't think it is. saying thank you to our friends (and family) for their years of friendship, for the things we have learned from them, for the support and guidance, is much more specific than i love you. and we often forget to say these things to the people that we surround ourselves with because we're way too busy working, paying bills, drinking, chasing our dreams, etc. and probably more because we take for granted that certain people are in our lives in the first place.  

i have surrounded myself with some of the most amazing people in this world. they are some of the most selfless, ambitious, smart, innovative, supportive, thoughtful people. i like to think that they are like that because i am like that, but really it's because i hope to be more like that every single day. they are truly inspiring people. and that's what i am most thankful for when it comes to their friendship.

one final thank you:
to paulo, who lived his life everyday to the fullest. i am so thankful to have known someone as crazy and funny as you, and that i was able to call you a friend.