...on boston

i have been sitting infront of my computer with this "write a new blog post" window up for a while. i can't stop thinking that we are living in the weirdest of times.

back in 2011, i attended the nyc marathon to watch friends run by as they see their dreams of defeating the 26 mile run come true. i hung out around mile 18 - 20, right before the runners go into central park, knowing they are so close. although many people look tired and worn out, you can tell they are excited to reach the end, throw on their comfy shoes and walk out of the park with their medals around their necks. what also amazes me are the people who encourage the runners. some people spend all day outside, in any kind of weather (in 2011, it was cold), and yell. people come and go as they wait to see their loved ones run by or others spend the whole day yelling and encouraging people they don't know. but everyone takes the time to yell and clap. if they see the name of the person on their bib then they call them out by name. sometimes they just hand out random high-5's. sometimes they just clap and smile. sometimes they even hold up funny posters (one guy had a sign that said, "a beer is near!"). these people who stand and watch, who encourage strangers and friends, amaze me.

what should have been a great moment of joy for people in boston was violated yesterday. and i just can't understand it all. grumpy cat said it best, 

but then i think,

because i really don't want to hate this world. i want to remember everything that i love that's in it, all of the people, the places, the things that we experience. as all of these things happen around us, i just don't want to forget that there really is good in the world and there are things to love about it, even in dark times. 

...on death

click for more pics

last friday, which also happened to be good friday, a friend of mine passed away. as someone who has lost her own father and both grandfathers, death is shocking but losing a friend is shocking. not that his death was a total surprise - he had been sick for 2 years and we all knew what the outcome would be. but to lose someone who was only one year older than you, someone who was so full of life and had so much more life to live is shocking.

the eulogy, which was delivered by his best friend (and friend of mine), was truly honest, personal and emotional. i'm pretty sure there wasn't a single dry eye in the house. but, i was personally struck by the final part of his speech when he talked about what he regretted most. what i thought my friend would say was that he regretted not telling our friend how much he loved him. i was wrong. what followed was an amazing reminder. my friend went on to say that what he regretted was not saying thank you.

since my father's passing, i vowed that i would make sure that the people i love know that i love them. although that seemed like enough, i don't think it is. saying thank you to our friends (and family) for their years of friendship, for the things we have learned from them, for the support and guidance, is much more specific than i love you. and we often forget to say these things to the people that we surround ourselves with because we're way too busy working, paying bills, drinking, chasing our dreams, etc. and probably more because we take for granted that certain people are in our lives in the first place.  

i have surrounded myself with some of the most amazing people in this world. they are some of the most selfless, ambitious, smart, innovative, supportive, thoughtful people. i like to think that they are like that because i am like that, but really it's because i hope to be more like that every single day. they are truly inspiring people. and that's what i am most thankful for when it comes to their friendship.

one final thank you:

to paulo, who lived his life everyday to the fullest. i am so thankful to have known someone as crazy and funny as you, and that i was able to call you a friend.

1 second everyday...for two weeks

enjoy!

new year, new projects

happy 2013!

i've been back at school for 2 weeks now taking an intense, but exciting, class. it's so weird to think that in a few short months i will be all done here and starting some brand new adventures. i really want to enjoy this experience as much as i can so i am trying to document this year in multiple ways:

this 1 second everyday app is amazing. so far i have one second clips from every single day since i purchased it and am looking forward to seeing my entire school year play out in a video. the above video is just my first week, but i hope to create compilations per week plus more. i'll be posting them on my youtube channel for you to check out.

attempting to do the 365 day photo challenge. funny enough, it has made me take a lot more pictures during the day. AND - i think i am becoming better at taking pics! 

and finally, i am keeping another paulo coelho journal for the year. it's so therapeutic. i didn't quite finish the one i had for last year so i vow to be better this year.

belated halloween

if you know anything about me, then you would know that

i love halloween.

i love dressing up, i love hanging out, i love being creative and doing makeup, and i love having fun. it has been a tradition for the boo and i to also hang out and celebrate halloween together which is probably why i love it even more. this year was certainly no different.

i had 2 awesome group costumes this year. 

first up:

 the spice girls.

yes, i am scary spice.

yes, the boo is animal. and yes, i am keeping the hat.

next up:

where's dtm? ok, it's really where's waldo but can you spot me in these pics?

and so it has begun

that's right, ladies and gentlemen - the school year has officially started! you're looking at a lady who stepped foot into a classroom after being out of school for (GASP) 8 years. i worry that i won't be able to keep up, that the readings won't make any sense, that my writing will suck. and then i remember. i got into this place. i think i'll be fine.

i am taking the awesomest classes (more about that later), meeting really amazing people, and feeling inspired by all of my professors already. sometimes i wonder, "is this really my life now?"

but i have to admit that i am missing home more than i ever imagined. leaving the place that has been my home for my entire life has really turned life upside down. sometimes i wonder:
how did i ever make it in ny?
how did i ever make friends!?
how did i ever discovere the bars that i love and the restaurants i will never find anywhere else?
is that all going to be possible here?
i know that this may seem extreme since this experience will only be for 9 months, but it really has me thinking...all of the ny transplants - i salute you! it certainly can't be easy to make a new life in a huge city like ny! but...it gives me hope that my new life will be just as rewarding and that i will learn more about this city in the 9 months that i will be here than any other city.

i might possibly be rambling right now. i've been waking up way before my alarm goes off for no apparent reason. if anyone knows how to stop that from happening, i am all ears.

and just to prove that i am still alive and kicking here in boston, that pic above is for you!

SMART goals

my thinking journal.

my good friend asked me to make some SMART goals for myself before the official school year starts, so i took the time this week to put something together. i thought i would share these goals on my blog as a way to stay accountable to them. here they are:

academic - can't i just say, "kick ass?!?" ok, seriously, i am going to try and develop study groups for at least half of the courses i am taking each semester in order to help me academically. i am also going to utilize all resources that are available to me in order to help me with school (you have to remember i went to pratt and going to the library and the writing center are super foreign to me). that includes a writing workshop i signed up for already, a reading workshop i plan on doing next week, a workshop on utilizing your ipad for school, etc.

social - accept invitations that are extended to me during the month of september (but think twice about accepting one that costs $$). after september, accept 50% of the invitations that are extended to me. invitations exclude anyone who might ask me out on a date!

networking - join at least 2 student groups during the school year. especially ones that are connected to professors that i am interested in getting to know. at least one of the student groups must be about diversity.

i'm adding this piece that i heard at the student of color orientation as well:

"find my voice. quickly. share."

thoughts?

cribs edition

i have been in cambridge for 3 days now (i can count the hours but figured that would be pretty extra) which means that i have had time to unpack, go food shopping, set up my space, meet up with 2 of my friends here, and spend some time walking around the neighborhood. i think i have a fear of getting lost or looking like a tourist though so i am sticking to the routes i currently know. 

i had some requests on twitter for some pics of my new abode, aka - the 9x9 living quarters. although i think my room might be a tiny bit larger than that...and when i mean tiny, we're talking inches. it's hard to take pics of a space that's kinda tight but i tried my damn hardest.

a pic last night of the dresser area and then this AM:

what's on top of my dresser

my studying area:

 the bro-in-law decided i need a monitor to watch movies/tv off of my computer but on a larger screen. he's so sweet.

where the magic happens:

 the piece on the wall is a cambodian sarong that was gifted to me by my coworker. it's beautiful. 

and yes i have 3 damn patterns going on in my room. deal with it. (if you have a suggestion for a better spot for the sarong, leave it in the comments section).

 my closet. it's packed in there:

 those shelves are a gift from god! threw some sweaters in there, some shoes. it worked out well.

my windowsill and then my bookshelf area:

the bookshelf is really my pantry shelf since it's next to my fridge.

and me by my desk pretending to be studious:

i have a few days before stuff really jumps off so i'll be here...in my room...on the computer...well, not really. i'm trying to meet up with some classmates and hang out with my 2 friends. everyone knows someone who knows someone who lives out here so hook it up! i'm looking for folks to hang out with.

xoxo from cambridge!

10 random things about me

inspired by my friend, big D (he has a fun blog with his writings about life), i thought i would share some random knowledge about me.

1. i'm proud of where i'm going to grad school but i absolutely hate telling people. maybe it's just me but i feel like the looks people give me after i tell them is full of pure judgement. 

2. i worry about having wrinkles, i hate the dark under eye circles i have (sleep deprivation sucks), i would love to lose 10 pounds and i think i have the largest hands for a girl my size. insecurities suck.

3. although i'm all about my curly hair now, i used to straighten my hair back in the day. not sure if my friends remember that since it's been more than 10 years but occasionally i would do it for fun in my 20's. now i'm all about my natural texture hair and not applying any heat at all to it. 

4. i watch big brother. i have an insane obsession with the show. i used to want to try out for the show but decided that i'm not cutthroat enough to apply. plus - i would never want to see myself on camera 24/7. i know i would annoy the hell out of myself.

5. i still want an iphone. that's pretty self-explanatory.

6. i created a list of 72 movies that have felt like must watches for the longest time. a taste of the list: a beautiful mind, bourne identity, friday, indiana jones, rocky, terminator, and training day. now you can only imagine what the other 65 movies are.

7. i hope to never lose my sense of curiosity or my ability to be innovative. it has helped me more than any other trait/characteristic in terms of figuring out what i want to do with my life and career.

8. i never thought of myself as a nerd until recently. i never believed in my intellectual capabilities. my friends and family have been yelling at me for some time to feel more confident but it hasn't happened until reaching 30.

9. i'm excited for 30. so much more of my life feels settled.

10. i leave soon. really soon. and i don't feel ready but i also have a mental list that includes - a lot of my clothes, 10 pairs of shoes, 2 - 3 bags, my coats/jackets, my sewing machine, some yarn and crochet hooks, and a bunch of my books that are relevant to what i will be doing. that should be enough, right?

(10 and 1/2. i love that pic of me. i look so silly.)

nerd alert

school is making me into a straight up nerd and i haven't even stepped on campus. i walk around reading books about teaching, assign myself summer reading, write a lot more and genuinely take interest in talking to people about their school experiences. no joke.

but if you follow me on instagram or twitter, you already know all of this. 

summer reading that was assigned to me by school - "who's teaching your children?" 

and summer reading that i assigned myself - "pedagogy of the oppressed."

i've also been compiling some awesome resources, articles and quotes on my tumblr blog. this is serious, people.

serious nerd alert.

2010

tomorrow marks 2 years since my dad passed away and not a day goes by without thinking about him. it's always the most random things that remind me of him - a budweiser can, a dude on the train with a yankees hat on, fourth of july fireworks. some days i'm angry, most days i'm just so grateful that he was in my life for as long as he was.

i just hope i'm still making him proud.

(yester)day was a good day...

thank you, family and friends!

DUECES

at midnight tonight, i can officially say "dueces!!!!" to my 20's. they were filled with wonderful memories but i will be happy to leave that decade of my life behind me and move forward in my life. things are really starting to feel like...they're all falling into place!

and that makes me happy.